laser-free diet.
y'all need to hear about gerb.
gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story.
when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it.
the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY.
and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives.
one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention.
now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,”
“you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift”
and gerb says “i recall”
“that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen”
and gerb says “yea ok”
“jeremy what happened?”and gerb says
“i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”
(via intrude)
Hey, this post may contain adult content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.
JOHN JOLIE-PITT IS NOT A GIRL
STOP SAYING HE IS
STOP CALLING HIM BY HIS BIRTH NAME
END THE TRANSPHOBIA IN THE MEDIA
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
For those who may genuinely not know—since the media likes to make sure you don’t—John is the chosen name of the Jolie-Pitt child the media refers to as Shiloh. Angelina first noticed signs of transness in John when he was about three and angrily refused to wear pink or dresses, insisting they were “for girls” in language that separated himself from “girls” as a group. Angelina and Brad chose to do the appropriate thing and ask John what kind of clothes he would like to wear and what he would like to be called. He chose his own name, and chooses his own clothes and haircut.
As a result of this Brad and Angelina have faced severe media backlash, including accusations that they are not fit parents and media support of Brad’s mother, who forcibly dresses John in girls’ clothes when he visits her. The Jolie-Pitts are doing everything they possibly can to affirm to their son that his identity is valid (including Angelina recently restricting Grandma’s access to him on the basis that her son’s mental health is more important than his grandmother’s self-righteousness), and the media is doing everything it possibly can to say they’re wrong.
Support the Jolie-Pitt children and parents, and remember that his name is John, and he is a boy.
(via ruinedchildhood)
| Me, trying to open up to my friends: | I feel sad |
|---|---|
| Them: | aw :( |
| Me: | okay I'm never doing that again |
(via ruinedchildhood)
(via hotboyproblems)
someone: wow i hate alcohol its so stupid we shouldnt have to get drunk to have fun
me, on my 4th shot: yea me too
(via urbancatfitters)